Meet the newest and only member of my coaching staff:

Coach Wasp

To be honest, I don’t think, that I was ever looking for a personal coach. I never considered myself to be more than an amateur athlete.
However, one summer day, I was just doing one of my weekly roadbike exercises, this one guy walked up to me and started buzzing talking to me:

 

“Think you perform well on the bike? I don’t think so! Right now, I just see a guy, that calls himself a racer, but he doesn’t even look like one. He looks like a fool on a bicycle! It’s embarassing and we need to change that…You know what? From now on, I’m going to coach you! I’m going to make you better, harder and stronger and eventually you can call yourself a racer!
But first, get on your crappy roadbike and start training! Did you hear me? Get going…”

 

Since that day, Coach Wasp has always been around. Every time, I stop riding his creepy, buzzing noise surrounds me. Sometimes I don’t actually see him, I just hear him! 
It is freaking me out…But who is this guy? Where does he come from? And after all, where did he get a coaching license from?

A quick background research on the net finally brought some light into the darkness that surrounds Coach Wasp.
Believe it or not, obviously, this guy seems to be a living legend…
Coach Wasp is a huge experienced, highly decorated and popular coach.

Every summer, he gets featured in several TV shows, local newspapers, radio stations and everywhere on social media.
There are reports of people going insane, because someone said he just saw Coach Wasp crossing the road right behind them…It’s so insane!
Everyone is freaking out about his person.

And then it strucked my mind: Since Coach Wasp started to coach me, did I actually make some progress?
I went through all the data, compared every number with one another, calculated this, calculated that and eventually I got the results:
There might be signs of slight improvement! It’s awesome and weird at the same time…

Do you want to know, how this is possible in such a short amount of time?
If so, I just might have the answers, you’re looking for…
Here are some of the keys to Coach Wasp’s story of success:

 

Coach Wasp teaches you the endurance that you need

Coach Wasp is a true role model, when it comes to keep on doing what you’re doing against all odds. This guy has overcome more obstacles in his life, than anyone else. People were getting after him all the time, throwing things and punches, Coach Wasp never gave up. Whole industries and businesses started campaigns to stop this guy, Coach Wasp still kept on going…
Adding Coach Wasp to your coaching staff guarantees, that whenever you’re about to quit doing what you’re doing, there’ll be this certain buzzing noise around your head, that always reminds you, to get back up and keep on doing what you’re doing!

 

Coach Wasp adds the sting to your crew

It’s certainly the most controversial subject of Coach Wasp’s training methods.
The sting is Coach Wasp’s prefered way of pushing athlete to the next level of their performance. You certainly don’t know, what you’re capable of doing and bear, if you haven’t been drilled by the sting.
Think you need to stop midride to re – hydrate and fuel up on energy? Coach Wasp gives you the sting, because there’s no need for hydration and energy, if you still got enough power to hurry back up on your bicycle and sprint away!
For opponents of this coaching philosophy, it’s pure abuse of power, the twenty – first century way of torture, they say.
For supporters and former athletes, this is the one thing, that makes the difference between being good at what you’re doing and becoming the best off `em all.

 

Benefit from Coach Wasp’s families rich coaching background

Experience beats everything! It is easy as this, folks!
And noone steps into the ring more experienced than a descendant of the Wasp family.
Centuries of teaching athletes toughness, strength and endurance…Centuries of poking future sport superstars with the sting made the Wasp family an institution.
Countless generations of coaching Wasps created the richest heritage in sports history.
Coach Wasp is a must have, if you want to reach the top of the charts!

 

So…What about you? Have you ever been coached by Coach Wasp? Or what kind of training method do you prefer?
Feel free to comment below!

 

Dennis

 

 

+++ The Blogpost “Coach Wasp” was first published on dennisthecyclist.blog  +++

2 Replies to “Coach Wasp”

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